Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Love


It is no secret that as a 21 year old girl, the subject of love and relationships is often on my mind. Thus far, I seem to have failed miserably. But then again, my mom told me that the hard things about love is that you really only succeed once. I hope that all the times we fail make us appreciate the one person who we love. If that is the case, so far he is going to be one appreciated fella. :)

I am a romantic at heart. I love the Beatles and having experienced my small sliver of life, I know it is true that "All you need is Love". There is no experience on Earth that brings us more pleasure or pain. The one time I was really in love was the most amazing experience I have had thus far. Waking up everyday smiling, completely twitterpated. Sharing memories together that have influenced me so deeply, I changed as a person. Contrastly, feeling more pain that I thought I could ever physically bare. Waking up everyday physically sick, unable to move. Remembering the time spent and knowing there will never be a day like those days you shared, as those people you were.

My girlfriend and I both went through our first real break-up since we have been at college. We were talking about it and the question got brought up, "Is the pain you feel when it is over worth the good times you had together?" Her almost two-year relationship ended very sourly with lies and pain and even with over a year to heal, she still feels it wasn't worth it. My one and a half year relationship just barely ended, for like the hundredth time, and thinking about it, I can say it was worth it. Dont get me wrong, after the break-up I didn't eat or sleep for weeks and felt so much pain I actually wanted to die rather than feel so alone and crippled everyday. But man, did i learn a lot from Craig. It is hard to resent the people who come into our lives because each one has shaped us in some way. Whether it is a new found like or dislike, new place to go and think, new opinion held, or a favorite band discovered.

Each guy I have dated has shaped me in some way. Even though now I look back and cringe thinking about some of the aspects of my past relationships, Im grateful for what I learned. I guess that is what this entire blog was about- realizing that yes the pain is a bitch and some memories may make us cringe, but ultimately, be grateful. Im grateful.

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